Sunnybrook Unscripted #87 - The More of Parenting– 2024 Re-Release

Episode Notes 

~The overall goal of parenting is to bring up a biblically and morally responsible child.~  

We all have commons struggle with feeling inadequate in parenting. 

4 PHASES OF PARENTING: 

0-5 years – Discipline phase – gaining control of your children (establishing your parental right to lead) 

• teaching respect, honor, obedience 

• delayed obedience is disobedience 

• don’t’ say something you’re not going to follow through on – otherwise, you’re training them to be disobedient 

• if you get this phase right, every phase after comes easy – if you don’t get control you won’t be able to move to the next phase – you’ll be stuck 

6-12 years – Training phase- teaching the hows and whys of behavior. (Children first learn how to act morally, and then they learn how to think morally) 

• practicing for the game of life- running drills and practices 

• Example: when we go here, here’s how I expect you to behave. If it didn’t go well, follow up on expectations. 

• Includes love for God, exchanging courtesies with others, kindness and consideration for others, serving opportunities, respecting boundaries, etc. (helping them to become more others-centered) 

13-18 years – Coaching phase- they are in the life game, your influence is diminished, but you can coach them in their interactions 

• Make a practice of de-briefing their life situations 

18+ years – Friendship phase – you can be friends with your kids – not before this! They need a parent up until the time they are an adult • Friendship is the goal in your child’s adulthood, not the starting point when they’re kids. 

When you get the discipline and training phases right, your kids will seek you in the coaching and friendship phase. 

 If you’ve been getting it wrong, don’t be discouraged - you can still adjust and get it right.

 Resources: James Dobson’s parenting collection (The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, and Parenting Isn't for Cowards), Growing Kids God’s Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo 

 Discussion Questions: 

1. What did you learn about parenting from this podcast? 

2. Discuss the phase you are currently in when it comes to your parenting. What challenges have you faced in this phase? 

3. If you struggle in the area of discipline, what steps would be helpful for you to take in order to have better follow through with your kids? 

4. Discuss some areas you might be intentional about when it comes to the training phase.